5:18am, wide awake, 11 days to India

Not being able to sleep, a million thoughts and emotions swirling through my mind and my body, figured I should start this now. In a lot of ways i've already left, so why not?  I'm trying hard to be 'here', but it's getting trickier. So where the hell am I? Definitely not in India, which seems like light years away and yet I have a plane ticket that says I'm arriving there on December 6th at 1:30am.  I'm thinking a lot about this place called India though..reading friends' travel blogs, looking at pictures, reading my guide book (a gift from a good friend), corresponding with a few friends there, talking with folks here who have been and getting advice.  But still, I don't feel as though my mind is there, nor is it really here.  I feel somehow suspended in time and space... a very odd feeling.  And I guess that's why I'm going. Disorientation for the sake of orientation? Maybe. Mostly there' just this strange, powerful yearning in my chest for something i can't define....  And so, go and try to find out, right?  

Goodnight, goodmorning.